One thing at a time

Pluck your eyebrows, reduce your calorie intake, choose the more expensive moisturisers, hold in that fart until the elevator empties, let your boss take you out for lunch but wear better shoes and don’t give an inch, download that song your friend said was a good soundtrack for sex, theme your iPhone and leave it on your desk unlocked so people will notice that you are an individual, BOING! an ex-colleague wrote on your wall.
Lees verder One thing at a time

A bogan love song

the first moment when i metchya
i knew that i would getchya
i knew that i’d be goin’
since tequilia shots were flowin’
back to yours for sumpin’
mebbe a little pumpin’

i said to meeself, i betchya
she’ll prolly even letchya
take ‘er bra off yeah
or give her one right there
but she knew that it didn’t suita,
and crashed ‘fore I could roota

so i went away and lefta,
thought prolly shezza lesba,
or not the type of sheila,
who’d let some random feela,
but she got me on the blower,
said why dontcha comeova?

then i knew shewas keenfa,
a bit of aussie beefa,
like all euro chicks are gaggin,
for a proper manly shaggin,
or at least a normal bloke,
to fondle and to stroke.

now i think she’s grouse,
and i like being at her house,
coz now we don’t get mashed,
just so we can pash,
and she makes me feel real ace,
and she’s got a beaut face.